what do i see?

my husband is color-blind.

so he sees the world differently than i do and i can't imagine what that feels like. no, he does not see black and white; colors just appear slightly different to him and some look so skewed they are entirely different colors to him as they are to the rest of the world. makes life fun.

but it has gotten me thinking: what do i see?


in the physical sense what i see severely hinges on whether i am wearing my contacts or glasses. the world around me is incredibly blurry without one of those to corrective lenses. i'm the nerd who can't see the big 'e' at the optometrist office. however, when i am wearing my glasses i can look around and see.

i can see dirt, plants, colors, dust on my bookshelves that i've been avoiding cleaning, cars, photos, food, snowflakes, the rain, leaves, paint, shoes, flowers and the list is endless.

but what interests me the most is that i can see people. the average person has 2 eyes, 1 nose, a mouth. 2 arms, 2 legs, 10 fingers, and 10 toes. some people wear glasses or contacts like me. some wear braces. some have freckles. some have brown hair or blonde hair or red hair or black hair. some have dyed hair. some wear tight clothes while some wear loose clothes. some wear pounds of jewelry while some wear little to none. some have blue eyes, while others have green, brown, hazel, or gray.

but. really.
what do i see?

i am realizing that i have a desperate desire to really see people. to see beyond their appearance. to see beyond the nonchalant answers that society accepts. i want to be able to see who they are, what experiences they have been through, what encourages them, what are they struggling with. i want to know people's stories, their culture, their history. i want to see people. we all have different backgrounds, interests, families, beliefs, and personalities. we are all so unique, but when we look at life there is another realization that we all need each other. we have a role in the lives of those around us.

and it starts with me.

i am guilty myself. typically when someone asks me how i am my automatic response is: "o, it was fine". quite often, it is on these days my answer should be drastically different, but it never is. why is that i push aside my true answer to replace it with a generic 'fine'? even if i am having a wonderful day, i still answer 'fine.' i need to let people see me. let them see when i am having a great day or when i am having a terrible day and when appropriate; let them know why. i need people to speak into my life just as i need to pour into other people.

so i've come back full circle. i need to allow people to see me so i can see people.
i know this isn't exactly revolutionary but its something to think about.
what do i see?